Pokéos 3: YEAH, HOLLYWOOD
by THE DEVIZZAL
Summary: SEQUAL TO VALENTINE’S DAY AND SECOND SEQUAL TO THE HAWAIIAN TOURNAMENT! Ash is ready to go to The Ultimate Pokémon Challenge, but first he has to get a certain badge from a certain gym... IN HOLLYWOOD!


Summary: **_SEQUAL TO VALENTINE'S DAY AND SECOND SEQUAL TO THE HAWAIIAN TOURNAMENT!_** Ash is ready to go to _The Ultimate Pokémon Challenge_, but first he has to get a certain badge from a certain gym... IN HOLLYWOOD! **Note**: It is highly recommended that readers read (and review!) The Hawaiian Tournament and Valentine's Day before reading this story!

A/N: Even though everyone who reads my Pokéos stories don't review them (Come on! Stories THAT good can't only be read by 2 or 3 people!), I still am nice enough to write more! (Aren't I soooooooo generous?) Here ya go! Enjoy! Oh, and some of the stuff that they see and hear actually happened to me when I went to Hollywood a few weeks ago!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE CHARACTERS! LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M JUST A FAN! STOP SCARING ME! _(cries to self)_

Rating: K+

**_YEAH, _****_HOLLYWOOD_**

By The Devizzal

The group was just walking out of the Pokémon Center when one of the video phones there rang.

"YEAH, PHONE CALL!"

Ash went over and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Professor Oak again. The order you sent me was wrong! I specifically said 'mayonnaise and liver' and you gave me this dumb pepperoni junk! What kind of a pizza place are you?"

". . . Uh, this is the Pokémon Center . . . I'm Ash Ketchum . . ."

"What? Oh . . . Well I was going to call you anyway. Hold on a second . . ."

He hung up. In a moment, he called again and said, "I must have been so angry that I pressed the wrong numbers. I really can't believe how completely stupid and rude a company can be today! Why, if I was 20 years younger--"

"HEY OAK! Come back! ... What did you want to call me about?"

"Oh, yes. Well, I was surfing the web—can you believe how annoying pop-up ads are? Honestly, I gotta get something to block those... Anyway, I was on the net when I saw an ad for something really interesting. It's called _The Ultimate Pokémon Challenge_. There should be posters up outside about it there and—oh, hold on; the pizza guy is here with my correct order. I'll just put the phone down for a minute . . ."

Ash heard footsteps, a door opening, and then the words 'YOU IDIOT! IT'S STILL WRONG! TELL YOUR MANAGER TO CLEAR HIS CALENDER; I'M SUING HIM DRY!' After that, the phone blew up. Ash ducked so the explosion went passed him and killed Max... again.

"Hey!" Tracy said. "Let's go outside and see those posters!"

"YEAH, POSTERS!"

They all exited the building and looked around. May said:

"Hey look! It's one of those posters—"

"**YOU IDIOT!"**Brock said.** "DON'T YOU GET IT? NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY! **Oh, wait. Sorry; I thought you were Max.**"**

Ash read the poster aloud:

_"**T**he_

**_U_**_ltimate_

**_P_**_okémon_

**_C_**_hallenge_

_Calling all trainers! The greatest thing **ever** is here! It's The Ultimate Pokémon Challenge!_

_Time: Tomorrow __3:00_

_Place: _**_Hollywood _****_CA_**

_Be there . . . or be someplace else!"_

"Well, that told us all about it!" Max stated sarcastically.

"SHUT UP! OH MY GOD!"

"I think we should go!" Ash said.

"But what happened to shopping?" Misty asked. "You said you'd buy me something..."

"I'll buy you a plane ticket! Let's go!"

"YEAH, GO!"

Meanwhile, Team Rocket watched them.

"They're going to Hollywood? Let's follow them!"

"Oi . . ." Meowth whined. "Not again... not Hollywood again—"

"OH, QUIT YOUR COMPLAINING!" Jesse screamed. "GET OVER HER ALREADY!"

"YEAH!" James said. "GET A DOG! . . .or at least a hobby..."

"Fine . . . but I ain't collecting no bottle caps!"

On the plane, Ash sat next to Misty, Tracy sat next to Max, and Brock sat next to May.

"OH, MY GOD!" May squealed with hearts in her eyes and her fingers laced. "I can't believe we're going to Hollywood! ...Maybe I'll get to meet Ricky! OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"I doubt it." Max said. May threw him out her window without even changing her love struck facial expression. He died and she sighed.

"Ya know," Ash stated, "I kind of agree with Max..."

"ASH KETCHUM!" Misty screamed. "SAY THAT AGAIN AND WE'RE THROUGH!"

They reached the airport and entered Hollywood. It was a lot busier than the last time they were there; there was hustle and bustle everywhere.

"YEAH, HOLLYWOOD!"

Ash walked up to one of the many Marilyn Monroe wannabes that were giving directions to see where the Challenge was held. Before he could, May rushed to her to see where Ricky Ullman was. The woman pointed to a studio and May was gone in a flash.

"Wait!" They called to her, but she kept running.

"I'm coming!" she called. "I'm coming, Raviv, darling! LOVE IS ON THE WAY!"

She opened up the studio doors just in time to see Ricky Ullman passionately lock lips with another actress.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" She ran out of the studio, crushed, as a director yelled, "CUT! Who let that girl in?"

She ran away and cried at a fountain. The gang found her and tried to comfort her.

"He was kissing another girl!" She managed between sobs.

"May," Brock said. "I don't think you quite get it. He was acting . . .for a movie. . . and he doesn't even know you. . . let alone like you. . . or belong to you..."

"He is the worst boyfriend ever! I am SO over him!"

"Give me a break!" Misty said. "HE WAS WORKING! HE WAS GETTING PAID-"

"OoOoOoHhHhH! That makes everything even worse!"

"Oi! You are a hopeless case, May." Max said as nobody listened to him.

They went to the nearby Pokémon center to ask the Nurse Joy directions.

"Hi, Nurse Joy!" Ash said. "Would you—"

"FOREVER BE MINE?" Brock screamed as he held her hand. Max tried to stop him, so Brock punctured him with several Pokémon shots, which killed him once more.

Ash continued. "Would you mind telling us were _The Ultimate Pokémon Challenge _is being held?"

"Oh, sure! It's right next to where Ricky Ullman is shooting his new movie—"

"OH, RICKY! OH! WAAAAAAA!" May cried.

"**STUFF A SOCK IN IT!**" Misty screamed. "**HE DIDN'T LOVE YOU!** But Ash loves me! Isn't that right?" She battered her eyes at him.

". . .What? Did you say something? . . . Whatever. C'mon guys, let's go!"

"YEAH, GO . . . AGAIN!"

"You can't enter." Officer Jenny said when they got there.

"WHY NOT?"

"You need a certain badge."

"What badge? Where can I get it?"

"The _Show-Bis-Badge_.You can get it from the gym at Mann's Chinese Theater."

"YEAH, CHINESE CINEMA BUILDING!"

"Aw, man! . . . Alright. Let's go!"

They took a taxi to the theater (It cost them 20¢ for every 1/9 of a mile! What a rip-off!). When they finally arrived, they all became instantly star-struck from the famous foot prints and traded in Max for a ton of disposable Tracy Sketchets (Who knew he was worth so much?).

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" Misty screamed. "IT'S JOHN WAYNE'S BLOCK!" Everyone disregarded her and went on to find their favorite movie stars' blocks. Misty put her feet into the block and found it to be loose.

"Wow! What a dream situation!" Misty began to lift the block out of its spot and hide it in her shirt when suddenly she heard. . .

"Hey, Misty!" Ash made her jump. "Are you trying to steal John Wayne's block like Lucy did in that one episode of _I Love Lucy_?"

"So what if I am?" she spat.

"Well, you might get your foot caught in a bucket of cement! HAHAHA! . . . Wait a minute, do you dye your hair?"

"WHO TOLD YOU? . . . Uh, I-I mean, uh . . . uh. . ." She put the block back and pouted.

"Come on, Misty! You know that only idiot tourists do that kind of thing!" Just then, they all looked at Brock who was trying to sneak away with Betty Grable's block. He froze.

"What?" he asked. Just then there was an announcement:

"Attention! We are now selling V.I.P. tour passes for the inside of the theater where we just recently held the premier of _Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous_. That's right folks- Sandra Bullock stepped on this very ground not too long ago and—"

"SANDRA BULLOCK?" Brock screamed enthusiastically. "OH MY GOD! I gotta get me one of those V.I.P. passes!" He ran off to get one and Max followed him. The announcement continued:

"—also, for those of you who wish to enter _The Ultimate Pokémon Challenge_, just go behind the theater. We'll be waiting for you . . . HAHAHAHA—oops . . . sorry."

The gang all went around to the back of the theater when Ash was suddenly ambushed by a masked ambusher-type-person!

"YEAH, AMBUSH! Uh, we mean, uh, AH! HELP!"

Meanwhile, Brock was unhealthily enjoying his V.I.P. tour as he took in all there was to see with Max tagging along behind him. Someone was offering beer samples that the theater served and Max took it all.

"And in this room," the tour guide, um, guided, "is where Halle Berry recently held a party for—"

"HALLE BERRY? LOCK ME UP IN THAT ROOM AND THROW AWAY THE KEY!" Brock interrupted.

"Excuse me," the tour guide sighed, "but would you please just shut up? This is the third room you've asked to be confined to until the end of time! What next? Are you going to want to take home the rooms as souvenirs?"

"WOW! You mean you can do that?"

"GET OUT!" A very excited Brock and a very wasted Max were kicked out and forced to rejoin the gang.

"Let out your most powerful Pokémon and prepare to fight!" said the ambusher. They then sent out Togetic! Ahhh! Then Ash sent out Pikachu! Ahhh! Then they started to battle! Ahhh!

"Pikachu!" Ash commanded. "Do a thunder—uh, thunder . . . um . . . thing. . ."

Pikachu let out a weird thunder . . . thing. It didn't do much except make the challenger laugh at Ash's expense.

"HAHAHA! You call that an attack? HOW EMBARRASSING!"

"Well, I forgot what it was called 'cause I was thinking about doughnuts!"

"Yeah? Well, forget this! Togetic, metronome!"

The Togetic waved its arms and ended up performing a stupid attack called 'cookarama'. A very delicious looking plate of gourmet 3-cheese ravioli appeared. Togetic became infatuated by it and immediately began to eat it.

"Dang it!" The ambusher complained. "That happens every time!" They then removed their mask and revealed their identity to be one of an official nature. "Here, kid" they stated as they handed Ash the Show-Bis-Badge. "You earned it . . . sort of."

"YEAH, SHOW-BIS-BADGE!"

The group was just about to leave when they were ambushed again! Ahhh! And this time, it was Team Rocket! Ahhh!

"Hand over Pikachu!" They insisted.

"Can't you just leave us all alone?" Misty became fed up with them. "Look, would you go away if I gave you a dollar?"

"DONE!" They were paid and gone. May started crying.

"The payment reminds me of Ricky getting paid and kissing that girl!"

Everyone gave up and let her cry. Ash was about to comfort her, but Misty stopped him.

"Oh come on! You know what'll happen! She'll just fall in love with you like in every other one of these stories! Leave her alone!"

May soon recovered and they returned to the area next to the shooting of Ricky Ullman's movie. May needed more recovery time before entering.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! . . . Oh, yeah, and Max!" said the announcer. "Welcome to The Ul—"

"UL! OOOOOHHHHH! WAAA! Ul—lman!" May cried.

"Wow . . . special! Anyway, welcome to The Ultimate Pokémon Challenge! And here is our host, Hollywood's fastest rising superstar and the star of _According to Jim_, David!"

"YEAH, DAVID!"

"Hello! Yes! _Tomarle el pelo a ella_! Thank you! Anyway, here are our contestants: Ash Ketchum, Patrick "Patent" Pending, Sir Jessica, and Jack "I-Pity-the-City" Jackson!"

"YEAH, CONTESTANTS!"

"Contestants?" the drunk Max asked/said to nobody in particular. "Oh, boy! I love game shows!"

"It isn't a game show, you idiot!"

First, Patrick fought Sir Jessica and Ash fought Jack. Patrick and Ash both won and then had to fight each other.

"Haven't we fought before?" They tried to remember and then realized that they had fought in _The Hawaiian Tournament_ (By the way, I'm STILL waiting for those reviews!) only 2 stories ago.

"So we meet again!" Pat said.

"We do? (tic-tock, tic-tock) OH! We do!"

"I may have lost to you this time . . . uh, I mean, _last _time . . . but I won't lose _this_ time!"

"Well, I bet you will!"

"WILL NOT!"

"WILL TOO!"

"Okay, settle down and let out your Pokémon already!" David butted in. Ash let out Pikachu and Pat let out Aipom.

"Now here's the rule for this round: To let your Pokémon do an attack, you must correctly answer a piece of celebrity trivia! Ash, you get to start!"

"Yay!"

"What was the original purpose of the 'Hollywood' sign?"

"Oh, no!" Misty worried. "Ash doesn't know poop! He'll never get this right!"

"I agree!" May stated. Misty looked at her in disgust.

"GROSS! How insulting!" She then proceeded to 'teach May a lesson'.

"Well, David . . . That's an easy one! The sign was originally created to advertise for real estate and housing and also used to read 'Hollywood Land'. The 'Land' section was damaged and taken down and the other part became famous!"

"Correct!"

Everyone had their jaws dropped in surprise that Ash knew something. Ash suddenly became distracted by the thought of Krabby-Kreme doughnuts and told Pikachu to do a thunder—thing again. It completely missed Aipom and killed both Max and Tracy (who in fact has not appeared many times in this story thus far). Next, it was Pat's turn.

"How old was Mark Twain when he learned to ride a bike?"

"Oh, uh, I don't know! I'll guess 55! I mean, what kind of freak knows this stuff!

"Well, obviously you do, because that's right!"

"Oh. Well what I meant to say was: What kind of _genius_ knows—wait a minute! He was 55? What a freak! Anyway, Aipom! Tackle now!"

Aipom attempted to tackle Pikachu and missed.

"Wow! I guess this brings us to our sudden-death round!" announced David.

"If I die," Ash yelled, "I'll kill you!"

"Now wait! It isn't even like that! You and Pat go into an intense battle and the first one to lose, well, loses! But first, a halftime entertainment event! One lucky audience member will get to meet a movie star!"

"TAKE THE HISTORY OF WHOOPIE CUSHIONS FOR $300 AND PHONE A FRIEND! I KNOW THIS ONE!" shouted the still-drunk Max.

"SHUT UP!" May slapped Max severely on the face. "Don't you know you're embarrassing me?"

"And since this young lady has caused so much commotion," David continued, "she is our lucky winner! Come on down to the stage!"

May made her way down to the stage with the BIGGEST smile on and covered her eyes as the movie star came to her. She opened them to see that the star was none other than . . .

"**RICKY ULLMAN? NO! I HATE YOU!" **May slapped him even harder than she did to Max and ran away. She was then arrested and brought to an insane asylum as she yammered on about her hatred for Ricky. Ricky felt his face where he was slapped and turned to David.

"You _promised_ that she wouldn't be the winner!"

"Well, sorry! I didn't see who she was until she came down onto the stage!"

Ricky rolled his eyes and threw his hands into the air. He then stomped away while complaining non-stop in Hebrew.

". . . Alright! Now for our Sudden-Death round! Trainers, get your Pokémon ready! This will be reeeeeeeaaaaaaaally intense! Ready? Set? Go!"

Aipom and Pikachu launched themselves at each other while yelling. They finally reached one another and began their incredible and exciting . . . thumb war! Oh, it was grand! Pikachu's thumb went left, Aipom's went right! Pikachu narrowly avoided Aipom and then vise-versa. Back and forth and on and on. Eventually, there was a victor:

"Pikachu . . . is the loser!"

"YES!" Pat shoved in Ash's face.

"I mean to say that he loses in another opposite dimension! But in this one, he wins!"

"YEAH, WIN!"

Pat gloomily shook Ash's hand and congratulated him.

"What are you talking about? Who are you anyway? Where am I? What happened to the doughnut I was eating?"

"O . . . kay . . ." David stepped away from Ash. "Since Ash is so clueless, Pat wins!"

"YEAH, PAT!"

Just then, Pat snapped back to reality and saw Ash holding up his trophy and getting a kiss from Misty.

"Aw. When will I ever get a break?"

After a few days of non-stop partying and mindlessly spending the majority of Ash's Valentine's Day money (if you are in the dark about what I'm talking about, then you should really read and review my other stories . . .), the gang all went to The House of Blues to celebrate some more.

"To me! And doughnuts!" Ash held up his glass.

"YEAH, ME AND DOUGHNUTS!"

Meanwhile, Patrick was at the bar drowning away his troubles with beer . . . root-beer. Just then, May walked up and ordered a Shirley Temple drink.

"Hey," Pat said. "I thought they sent you to that insane place."

"I got let out early for shutting up." She looked at the size of his root beer. "You've got troubles too?"

"Yep. I never get a break."

"Yeah, I never can seem to find the right guy."

They looked at each other for a few moments and then began to passionately (and rather disgustingly) make out.

Everyone gagged at the sight but thought that May's happiness would get her to be quiet more often (Boy were they wrong!), so they clapped instead.

"YEAH, PATENT PENDING!"

**T**_H_E **e**_n_d

A/N: Super long, super stupid, and super perfect! Remember to review!

P.S. Look out for my next one of these! I know it took me over 6 months to get this one up, but hey! It's up, isn't it?


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